


Mission Desk

by DarthLivion (DistantShenanigans)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Implied KakaIru because that's basically the entire naruto series, Iruka's doomed, Lots of Cursing, Other, Shikaku's a good parent, just questionable, over use of fuck, questionable parenting, unorthodox parenting methods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistantShenanigans/pseuds/DarthLivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka should have stayed home.</p><p>Based on Vocabulary and the wonderful headcanon my friend and I have that "Shikaku's totally the dad that would have a cursing contest just to see how well his son's vulgar vocabulary grew. And they'd do it in the mission room. While Shikamaru's working. Next to Iruka."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission Desk

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Vocabulary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481224) by [DistantShenanigans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistantShenanigans/pseuds/DistantShenanigans). 



> MsD wanted the quote in the author's notes from Volcabulary to be thing. So it's a thing now. It doesn't take place in any universe, because I wanted Shikaku to be a man because that kind of makes it all the funnier that both Nara men are suddenly just cursing, when instead they normally don't talk unless it's to an Akimichi or Yamanaka.
> 
> Creative language, mostly all my own. I take pride in the last swear Shikamaru uses, by the way. 8D

 

 

Iruka _should_ have known better. He knew the Nara wouldn't get work done, especially when his dad was in the mission room with him, but he didn't _know_ he was on the same shift as him before now. If he had known, he would have called in sick or _something_ to get out of it. He had plenty of papers to grade, too, so it wouldn't be _skipping_ , not really.

 

But here he was, sitting at the mission desk, trying to not yell at the two Naras while he accepted and handed out scrolls. His face was red, he could feel his ears burning, and Kakashi was smiling in amusement at him from nearby as Shikaku stood near his son, the two casually saying words that were demeaning in a way that was childish to everyone, but would still piss someone off. The rest of the shinobi in the room found it hilarious, except for Inoichi, who had walked in at a particularly nice insult.

 

“Assfucker.”

 

“Pisslicker.” Shikaku snorted at that.

 

“Really? That's the best you could come up with?”

 

“I'm _twelve_!” Shikamaru groaned, “I haven't heard as many insults as you.” … A moment of silence was held and Iruka thought that it was over with.

 

“Shit eating fawn.”

 

Clearly Iruka was wrong.

 

“Okay _that_ was a good one.” Iruka couldn't believe that Shikaku was _praising_ his son, let alone that Shikamaru actually _grinned_ at that.

 

“You two are going to make Iruka's head explode if you two keep that up.” Inoichi stated, making Shikamaru do some work by accepting a scroll from him. “And, really, you're teaching your son how to curse?”

 

“I'm not _teaching_ him. I'm seeing how much his vocabulary has grown.” Shikaku snorted, “Chouza does the same thing.”

 

“With _food_ , not swears.” Inoichi groaned as Kakashi began to approach them.

 

“Ah, everyone has a different parenting method.” Shikaku stated.

 

“I highly doubt that's parenting, fuck nugget.” It came out of Iruka's mouth unintentionally, even if it was muttered, but Shikaku, Inoichi, Shikamaru and Kakashi had heard it. Kakashi's shoulders immediately began to quake as he struggled not to laugh aloud, while the other three stared at him in shock. Shikamaru immediately looked at his father.

 

“And you said this was the _boring_ assignment!? How come you didn't teach me fuck nugget before!?”

 

Oh _fuck_.

 

He really should have stayed home.


End file.
